I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
