i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
