Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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