Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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