It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
His nipple licking is glorious
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