Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
