just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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