apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.