Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
