Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
We were destined to go to rehab together
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Randomize
