You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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