I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
