Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
