Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
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