Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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