best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
