You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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