Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
My feet surprised me
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
