I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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