I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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