i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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