Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I puked a lego.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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