I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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