Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
