in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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