I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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