i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
You can't motorboat a personality
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
