I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I forgot how hot balto sounded
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Houston, we have a squirter
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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