More tranny stories later!
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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