I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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