I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
so explain again why im purple
no
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
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he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
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