there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
