Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Brb crying the tears of my youth
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize