Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize