Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize