Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
