we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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