Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
