Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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