everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
How's work?
Spinning.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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