when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
