Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
