Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
COCAINE IS GR8
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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