did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
this is an emotional support booty call
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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