Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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