You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
