you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
