Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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