I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
