did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Randomize
