the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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