Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
