So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
