This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
whose ass print is on the piano?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
