i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
