its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
